I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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