I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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