that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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