Your face is a jimmy john
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
