Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You pole danced in your parka.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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