the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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