ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
