My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
