Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
