Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize