You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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