My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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