i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
