I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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