i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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