my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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