I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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