You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
