Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
