I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
