My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
