I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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