If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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