My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
