i barfeds in our rink
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
