Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize