Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
