Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
