we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
