Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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