arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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