I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My feet surprised me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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