Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
