I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize