I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
