so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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