i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
