im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
