I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
