READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
