I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You left your phone here
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