new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They took my balls.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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