apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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