Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
