you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
