Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
