You smell like stripper and shame
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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