i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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