That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
