he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
