I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
