i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
