when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize