you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
