Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
