He is such a slut. More and more my type.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
