***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
