Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
