if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
