I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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