Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
that's an acceptable place to lick
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The air was thick with penises
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
