Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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