Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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