Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
