Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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