Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
