its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
