Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
