My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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